So, Prometheus. Well, it’s sci-fi isn’t it. Which means there are aliens, spaceships, remote planets, robots called Dave, hot women in tight suits and death. Now, I wouldn’t class myself as a sci-fi fan particularly but if I’m honest, I was pretty bored. The film has a promising start with spectacular graphics and scenery but then fails to deliver on offering anything else different. Instead, the wheel is reinvented. Again.
The story is essentially about discovering the meaning of life and who made us, whilst the protagonist, Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace), reflects on her religious beliefs. Following a confusing introduction to the ‘five blobs’, which have been present throughout the ages, we are then thrust onto a spaceship, Prometheus, and we think they are now on a mission to discover who made us, thus undoing all of the work of Darwin and that other bloke people bang on about. It turns out this was a mission to save mankind. News to us.
The space crew (made up of actors who look like they have been dragged kicking and screaming from the Queen Vic) are then revealed one by one as they are brought back to consciousness after being submerged in jelly for 2 years. Mmmm jelly.
Prometheus and its crew, including Meredith Vickers (Charlize “Hubba Hubba” Theron), discover a planet and thereafter follows your typical fight scenes with aliens, lots of goo and the ‘stupid’ characters (who may I point out are supposed to be world class scientists) getting killed whilst trying to make friends with a phallic-shaped snake thing.
Blah blah blah, more killing, infections, alien babies, sacrificial suicide and the potential destruction of Earth. This time, however, Bruce Willis wasn’t present. Maybe he should have been. The protagonist then decides she hasn’t quite had enough death and exploration of distant planets so she flies off with Dave’s head on a spaceship which I can only assume was fit for our ‘makers’ from billions of years ago so wouldn’t necessarily be fit for the modern woman. I’m almost certain there wouldn’t be a supply of hair straighteners and we all know what outer space humidity does to one’s hair. Nightmare.
On leaving the cinema, myself and the wife decided that what we wanted to see from future sci-fi films was less aliens, less goo, less outer space, less robots and more ‘real life sci-fi situations’.
We then went home and watched ’24 hours in A and E’. Up yours Ridley Scott